Bachelor: African model, Vakoo, pretty in pinkeye

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Dianne Andershttps://www.sausageroll.com.au/
Dianne is a former reality TV producer who lives in Melbourne, Australia.

Let’s just all conveniently forget that Bachelor contestant and African Model, Vakoo, pretty much got pinkeye and instead campaign to have her as the next Australian Bachelorette.

The goss was saucy when viewers realised that the 23 year old African model was missing from the Bachelor rose ceremony. Conspiracy theories started forming; are the producers racist? Was she too much woman for Matt to handle? Deported? Or was she abducted by aliens? Well, the real reason Vakoo missed the ceremony is even more shocking than that.

Discussion

The black beauty got a bad case of conjunctivitis – so bad, in fact, that she could not be on camera – but fortunately received a rose off-camera. What is conjunctivitis, you ask? It is something, I’m sure, we’ve all had at one point in our lives. However, most of us probably got it when we were filthy little rugrats.

Despite the fancy sounding medical term, conjunctivitis is merely pinkeye; a contagious, epidemic form of acute conjunctivitis; so called from the colouring of the eye. It’s gross and embarrassing mostly because of the stigma that follows having pinkeye. It means that something icky touched your eye.

Maybe Vakoo was Tinder Swiping while butt wiping. It is also possible that one of the other girls left a rectal spectral (fart) on her pillow. Or perhaps the Aussie Bachelor, Matt Agnew, gave her a hot monocle instead of ceremonial rose. But, the most likely scenario, is she left her contact lenses in too long (at least lets hope). Whatever the case, getting pinkeye as an adult is super embarrassing, and it is something you don’t really want to share with the world. If it happened to me, I’d be sure to say that I was just feeling a little under the weather. It’s the same for food poisoning; you don’t tell people you have food poisoning because they know what your body functions are doing during downtime. Gross!

But her reputation as the pinkeyed, pink dressed and self confessed seductress when she revealed how she overcame some nasty racist comments that some random – and most likely lonely – troll left on her Instagram wall that one time. We were quick to forget that she had little poo-pills in her pupils. Instead, after only one episode, people are now requesting that channel 10 makes her the next Bachelorette.

Vakoo is famously known for the catchphrase, “once you go black, you’ll never go back.” Well, I guess you could also say, “once you go pinkeye, you will always be that guy.”

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