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5 Upcoming movie reboots that nobody asked for and nobody wants

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Dianne Andershttps://www.sausageroll.com.au/
I am a former, albeit small time, reality TV producer and currently living in Melbourne, Australia. Through my many years of working in television I've met some interesting people who you could call "insider sources". I still remember my days as a first A.D; kids, don't ever aspire to be first A.Ds. Follow me on Twitter @dianneoflaughter or send me an email to [email protected]

It wouldn’t be too crazy to assume that Hollywood is running out of ideas. Instead of getting exciting new stories a lot of classics are being rebooted for the modern day, and nobody wants them. Here are 5 upcoming movie reboots that will hopefully never see the light of day.

A cinematic reboot isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes a film’s concept and theme may be dated when viewed through a modern lens which makes a reboot a likely and logical choice. Unfortunately, that is rarely the case.

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Bradley Cooper’s and Todd Phillips’ A Star is Born is a perfect example of a reboot/remake done right; it’s been years since the last reboot and now, more than ever, is a perfect time for a modern retelling of this classic love story with themes that are relevant today. But it is rare to find a reboot that makes sense. Most remakes are merely a lazy effort at a quick cash grab.

Even if a quick cash grab is not the film maker’s intention a reboot could, and most likely always is, a terrible idea; especially when the film being rebooted is a cult classic that has stood the test of time.

Here are 5 upcoming movie reboots that nobody asked for and nobody wants.

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Big Trouble in Little China
5 upcoming movie reboots: Big Trouble in Little China

The original Big Trouble in Little China, directed by John Carpenter, was first released back in 1986. It was poorly received in theatres but became a cult classic over the years.

The Big Trouble in Little China reboot will allegedly star Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as the lead. Dwayne Johnson is no stranger to reboots as we’ve seen him ruin another great classic like Jumanji. According to Seven Bucks Productions, it won’t be a traditional reboot but instead a “continuation of the story” of the original film. Even Carpenter himself has expressed discontent for the upcoming reboot.

SCARFACE

Scarface reboot
Upcoming movie reboots: Scarface

Can anyone replace Al Pacino as Scarface? It has long been rumoured that a Scarface reboot was in the works, but unsurprisingly the film’s production has met a fair amount of protest from fans of the original. The protest caused directors David Yates, Pablo Larrain and David Ayer to walk away from the project, however, director Antoine Fuqua feels up for the task.

Fuqua mentioned that he’s interested in turning Scarface into an urban thug and wants to cast Denzel Washington as the lead, but those plans, hopefully, have gone out the window now that Diego Luna is reportedly being eyed for the part.

THE CROW

Jason Momoa The Crow
Upcoming movie reboots: The Crow

Not only is The Crow just a cult classic, but to many it is also a memorial piece to the late Brandon Lee who suffered a tragic injury on the set that ended up costing him his life.

The Crow reboot was supposed to release on October 11, 2019 and was supposed to star Aquaman’s Jason Momoa as The Crow, but the actor bailed and director Corin Hardy decided to pass on the film, so Sony pulled the film its release slate and it is now back in pre-production.

LABYRINTH

Jared Leto as Jareth in Labyrinth reboot
Rumour: Jared Leto to star as Jareth in Labyrinth reboot

The Labyrinth is more than just an awesome musical film, it kind of acts like an extension to David Bowie’s discography. You’d have to be really stupid to reboot it, right?

Well, director Fede Alvarez, known for his work with The Girl in the Spider’s Web is now set to direct an upcoming reboot of the classic eighties fantasy film. They have the script, all they are missing is a fit replacement for the Goblin King. Who the hell has the balls to take on that iconic role?

007

Lashana Lynch is 007 James Bond
Confirmed: Lashana Lynch to take over as 007

Contrary to popular belief, James Bond is, in a way, being rebooted. The upcoming 007 film will be Daniel Craig’s last and will act as an origin story to a new 007 who The Daily Mail describe as “a beautiful black woman.”

The decision to get rid off James Bond was made after pressure from the LGBTQ communities protest that Sony pictures were celebrating and promoting toxic masculinity by making a film about a straight white male who is also a womaniser. They demanded a gay or lesbian secret agent with the license to thrill and kill. “Swap the tuxedo for dungarees, the sports car for a low-emission Mini and the martini for a pint of Stella, and you have the perfect Bond for the 21st century,” wrote Julie Bindel of the Guardian. And they got what they wanted.

Captain Marvel’s Lashana Lynch will take over as the new 007 as a black, butch and beautiful lesbian spy after her debut in the upcoming 2020 Bond film No Time to Die.

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