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Wearable speakers are for pod people and douchebags

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Michael Deftonix
I used to be a wondering pen and videographer, or rather a freelance journalist, until I settled down as the editor at Sausage Roll. I also dabble in content creation on YouTube and occasionally live stream on the Twitch platform. Follow me on Twitter @deftonix or email me directly at [email protected]!

There’s a new trend where people are wearing portable speakers around their necks instead of using headphones, and it’s pretty annoying.

There’s this new tech and it is pretty neat for the most part. It’s a set of speakers you wear around your neck and it can simulate complete surround sound. But, as cool as it sounds, I wish it was never invented.

Did you know?

BOSE initially released SoundWear, a wearable surround sound speaker with phenomenal sound quality, and at the AUD$500 price mark, you know it would be something only truly for audiophiles.

It was initially created for people that didn’t want to fork over thousands for a proper surround sound system and still wanted to enjoy getting immersed in epic soundscapes while watching movies at home, and for the people who wanted to relax and maybe even meditate while listening to nature sounds.

But then the unthinkable happened; other companies entered the market and released dodgy yet affordable versions of the wearable speakers.

BOSE SoundWear

BOSE SoundWear and Sony Wearable Neck Speakers are good… for pod people and douchebags.

You can now get wearable speakers for around AUD$85, and now, because they are considered hip and trendy, a bunch of people have them, and they are annoying the crap out off me.

Fortunately, long gone are the days of boom boxes. Nobody wants to hear your favourite music blasted as loud as possible. But then, when the Bluetooth speaker hit the market, the boombox had a spiritual successor and ultimately made its return.

When you compare a group of angsty teens sitting around one Bluetooth speaker to several teens each with their own wearable speaker, and each listening to their own track, the Bluetooth speaker doesn’t seem too bad.

Are wearable speakers only for pod people and douchebags?

Of course not. However, it’s so popular for pod people and douchebags because it kind of looks trendy and is not as conspicuous as a giant Bluetooth speaker; it kind of reminds me of those bastards who used to crank up the volume on their headphones and just let it sit around their necks.

These cheaper wearable speakers that lack the quality and build of the Sony and BOSE versions are selling like hotcakes, and that’s because a large percentage of millennials now live like animals in ‘rental pods’.

wearable neck speakers for pod people

Pod people can only afford the worst.

It’s like somebody saw how some people live in storage units and China and figured away to make it hip and trendy for millenials; by including a HD television and wifi.

Let’s not forget that wireless surrounds sound headphones still exist for as little as A$99, and they won’t annoy your friends as much.

What do you think about this new trend? Would you wear one of these out in public, or are just going to stick to headphones? Let us know in the comments below.

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